Such a Beautiful View
by Santiaga
Summary: Just a joke.


**AN:** I live on the thirteenth floor of a high-rise building, which offers a great panoramic view of my city. But one day recently, the both elevators in my house had broken down for the whole day. On that day, when I was trudging wearily up on my floor for the third time, I got the idea for this parody. I've always been amused that the group of first responders is based on such a high floor (that we often can see from the windows in the briefing room.)

So, that is how this story appeared. Please, don't judge me harshly. It's just a joke.

As always, many thanks to **Mahala** for her help! All mistakes are mine!

 **Disclaimer:** I own neither Flashpoint, not the characters involved. I make no money from this work, it's for entertainment only.

 **Warning** : English is not my native language! Sorry for the mistakes and for my limited vocabulary.

 **Genre:** parody, humour.

 **Such a Beautiful View.**

Sergeant Greg Parker stood in front of the large panoramic window in the briefing room in the SRU's headquarters. The magnificent panorama of early-morning Toronto as revealed from the height of the 25th floor was breathtaking. The mirrored walls of multiple skyscrapers reflecting the sun's rays, shimmered with all the shades of pink and blue. It seemed almost possible to reach out a hand and touch the light white clouds…

Greg looked at the cute fluffy clouds gloomily and sighed heavily.

A sudden loud siren blaring announced a hot call coming in.

"Team One, hot call! Gear up! Bomb threat! " The voice of the dispatcher roared through the intercom and everything inside Parker sank. He quickly left the briefing room and almost ran into Spike Scarlatti. The demolition expert gave the sergeant a panicked look.

"Will we need Babycake?" Parker asked briefly.

Spike nodded, turning noticeably pale.

Greg swore under his breath and they both rushed toward the armoury cage.

All the other members of the team were already there, quickly putting on the necessary protective tactical gear.

"Damn ..." Wordy swore softly as he tightened the buckles of the heavy tactical vest. Then he attached his MP5 to the strap-holder, took a step and gave a low moan.

The team leader Ed Lane shot him an evil look. "I don't see what are you complaining about Wordy! At least, THEY don't make you wear the bulletproof vest constantly. If you hadn't noticed, I have to wear this awful thing all the time! I wonder if THEY even know how much such a bulletproof vest weighs? Why make me wear it here, in the Barn, every minute? Are we going to be attacked by our own personnel of Headquarter? Have THEY even tried to move in one? Or just breathe?! I've already got bloody blisters on my shoulders because of this! " he exclaimed following it up with a stream of words that Ed's mom wouldn't have approved of.

"THEY think you look terribly cool in it," mumbled Jules next to him, huffing in her own bulletproof vest. "I think we should be pleased that THEY at least have relieved us of the helmets..." She looked at her watch. "Hurry up, boys. We've still got to get the whole way down ... " she said pointedly and they all exchanged panicked glances.

"And we'll have to take Babycake..." Spike said almost inaudibly, "I'm sorry ..." he shrugged, "It wasn't MY idea to keep a two hundred weight robot here!"

The men of Team One moaned loudly and looked at Jules.

"Jules ... Could you ...?"

She nodded gloomily and headed for the elevators. "Yes, I know ... I'll hold elevators for you ..." Passing in front of the large panoramic window with the beautiful view, she looked at it with evident disgust.

After five minutes the four men, panting and sweating, dragged the heavy robot over to the elevators. Two others followed them darkly, loaded with machine guns, sniper rifles and other equipment.

"Hell, Spike, why this… thing... can't move fast?" Sam grumbled, rubbing his back and grimacing.

"Babycake is not a racing car!" Spike protested, wiping the sweat from his face reddened from the strain.

"Guys!" Jules called as she kept one foot in the open elevator door, trying her best to ignore the bangs and shouts demanding its release coming from somewhere below her. She waved her hand drawing their attention, "We have a problem. The second elevator is broken!"

The faces of her teammates darkened even more.

"So. Spike, Babycake, Wordy and I - Alpha, the elevator. Boss, Lou, Sam, Jules - Bravo, take the stairs..." croaked the team leader Ed Lane as he started to drag the heavy robot into the elevator.

…

A sweet-toned ping sounded for the sixth time and the elevator stopped again.

The three men, standing flattened against the wall around the large robot in the middle of the elevator, swore loudly. The doors opened slowly, revealing a crowd of irritated people outside.

"I'm in a hurry! Why are you detaining the elevators again?! This is becoming intolerable!" came the indignant cries from the crowd.

"SRU! Hot call!" Ed Lane snarled furiously, pressing the button repeatedly to force the doors to close. Even as the elevator doors closed, the complaints continued from outside.

The elevator finally continued its journey. Darkly, the three men watched the numbers of floors in a small display above the door. 8, 7, 6... Spike nervously glanced at his watch.

"Dinnnng!" The damned elevator froze again.

…

Four black Suburban SUVs, polished to a shine, glittering with chrome details and shimmering with red and blue flashes, pulled to up the site and proudly slowed down near the smoking ruins. The chief of firefighters threw a sour look at his watch as the SRU officers got out of their trucks.

"Listen, guys ... This is the fifth time only this month ..." The firefighter looked around the grim faces before him. "Maybe it's time for you finally to talk to your scriptwriters? It's simply ridiculous to base a group of first responders on the upper floors of a high-rise building!"

"It's useless. They like the panoramic view of the city from up there..." Greg Parker gave a desperate sigh. "Such a beautiful view…"

Team One turned round and silently headed back to the Barn.

They had to solve another problem for tomorrow. According to the scenario, as they emerge from the trucks, armored shields magically appear in their hands so they can defend themselves against gunfire from above. The only thing left to do was to figure out a quirky way to accommodate (invisibly!) these huge shields inside the SUV's cabins ...

The End

 **A/N: Thanks to everyone for reading. Feedback on my work is appreciated...really...just drop me a line, send me an e-mail...flowers? chocolate?**


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